Shopkeeping Wiz
by EspellaEve0124E
Summary: Wiz is in danger of losing money. Again. And it's up to Kazuma to help her. Will the duo make up for the loss or face the wrath of Vanir? Kazuma X Wiz pairing.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 01.

Axel.

The city where all adventurers start their new stories. With the demon king's army on the rise, the city was booming with adventurers. With a steady line of customers, the local economy kept afloat.

But recently, the town economy was booming thanks to a certain group of whacky adventures. With demon kings commanders falling like dead leaves in their paths and squashing the mobile fortress Destroyer, Axel economy flourished like never before. With the bounty money, wealthy consumers lined the streets. With the news of the bounty money, more wanna-be adventurers lined the streets.

The market days in the purse-opener square were festivals of exotic goods and street performers. Yes, every merchant's purses were jingling. Well, all but one.

* * *

It was a nice morning in Axel. Clear blue skies with a wisp of pastel pink and perfect silver linings in every cloud. Perfect market day conditions. Though the sun had barely risen the streets were full of life. And through the bustling crowd, a young man bustled through them. His brown hair swayed in the early morning breeze as he passed the early sales of the day. Though his forest green eyes swirled here looking at the colorful goods for sale, he never lost his pace.

He turned off at a corner, finally out of the crowd and walked into a less populated ally. Seeing his destination at the end of the road, he walked faster. Noting the 'Welcome, we're open' sign, he opened the door and entered. Listening to the silver bell ring, Satou Kazuma entered the store.

* * *

The store was empty. Empty of customers, he was not surprised. But there was no demon wearing a pink apron and, "Hey, Wiz? Are you here?"

"Oh, Kazuma-san! Welcome." The pure shopkeeper walked out of the back smiling as usual. She had long brown hair that was slightly curled at the end had eyes the same color. She was a beauty in life and after.

Kazuma had laid down the paper roles and packages he was holding. He was about to state his business when he was cut off by the lich.

"What brings you here? It's quite early. I didn't even open the shop yet."

"Eh? What do you mean? The sign says the store was opened." "No one comes to our shop so I never thought about changing the signs." "But the door was open. Did you forget to lock the door?" "No, the robbers never seems to steal from us. I wonder why…."

Well, this was laughable. He knew no customers were coming here in the first place but he didn't know even robbers avoided her store. Just how bad was she? Still, it was unwise to leave the door unlocked. What if an unfortunate thief came in and got blasted by one of Wiz's exploding bottles? Did Vanir forget to remind her on purpose? Possibly. There was no way to predict the demon's move when he knew all of theirs. And speaking of the devil….

"Speaking of Vanir, is he here?" Wiz got confused as she never mentioned her partner but answer in her usual cheerful voice. "Well, Vanir-san is not here today. Anything I can do in his stead?" "Not really. I brought some blueprints and samples for 'new projects'."

Though he had limited knowledge about how things worked back in Japan, he managed to make some simple samples and draw up some few drafts. He had spent all night coming up with ideas. A chance to make money without getting dragged into another crazy situation? How could he refuse? And here was the first results, ready to be made and sold.

Wiz looked at the scrolls and packages on her counter before looking up at him with a bright smile. "Ah, that's great! Vanir-san told me about these before he left. I'll go put them in the safe. Please wait here." Wiz scooped the things up and went back to the back.

The store became silent again. Kazuma took his time to look around. Under the new management of Vanir, the store looked a bit better. It looked like Vanir had gotten rid of Wiz's exploding bottle collection. And the shelves were more organized with price tags under the items in question. Finding a new metronome on the counter, he nonchalantly flicked it. The silver needle sways back and forth, back and forth. The giant eye on the star of David waved back and forth from the point of the needle. Back and forth, back and forth, back and-

"Kazuma-san!"

Wiz clapped her hands hard in front of Kazuma's face. Forced out of a trance, Kazuma's knees buckled and swayed. Knocking down a few bottles from the counter with a sickening crash. Thick shards of glass littered the floor, Kazuma was about to fall on to them…!

"Kazuma-san!"

Wiz cried as she grabbed him by the color, moments before he fell to a painful doom. "Wiz… What, was that?" "I'm so, so sorry, Kazuma-san! That's 'Puppet master's metronome' I accidentally stole from the demon king's treasury. I was going to destroy it… But not fast enough, it seems." "…It's okay. It's my fault for carelessly handling with your things." "…"

Wiz pulled a face of guilt as Kazuma rose to his feet again, huffing loudly as if he had run a full marathon.

Wiz gingerly picked up the metronome and put it beneath the counter. Her face was still wry with guilt and worry. "Kazuma-san, you better sit down. I'll go get the broom." "No, I'll help you. It's my fault-." "Kazuma-san, you've almost been hypnotized by a dark artifact of a puppet master, one of the four highest class of dark magic. You need to rest."

Pressured by guilt and the full weight of her words, Kazuma went and set down on a chair by the window. He watched a woman opening a window and dusting her blankets. Wiz pulled out a broom and started to sweep. He watched as glass and something black roll into a neat pile. Wiz hummed as she swept.

"Hey, Wiz. What did I exactly smash?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just my breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next month."

"Your WHAT!?" Kazuma sprang up in incredulity and pointed at the black somethings gathered among the glass. "That's what your meal!? For the next month!?" "Yes, that's right." Wiz cocked her head in confusion. "Is there something wrong?" "Wrong? You're eating… something that looks like leeches and you don't think that's wrong?" Wiz pouted once more and put her hands on her hips, not liking her friend's tone. "Gross! Liches don't eat leeches! Whatever you heard about liches, they don't go off eating disgusting things! They're breadcrumbs!" "Bread…" Kazuma shook his head again, trying to clear out the fact that Wiz misunderstood his point and she was eating breadcrumbs for granted and those crums looked so stale not even a hungry pigeon would eat them.

"Yes, breadcrumbs. Since all my money goes for purchasing goods for the store and paying off my debts, I can't afford more things, like clothing or food…"

Wiz sheepishly scratched her head.

"Since I'm a lich, I don't need to eat… but it's one of the things that makes me feel alive… So I've been buying spare crums and hoarding rainwater." "…And what did Vanir said about the matter?" "Vanir-san said we really couldn't spare any money for unnecessary luxuries…."

* * *

Kazuma felt pity for Wiz. She was a hard worker. As far as he knew, she spent all her time trying to make her business a success. And from what he head, to help Vanir build his dream dungeon. But she didn't have any business sense. Some people, many people didn't have a business sense as business required guts and taking risks; it was like Russian roulette, …That's what he had thought of the matter, anyway. But Wiz, Wiz was getting off on a wrong foot from the start. She made mistakes, critical mistakes that veered out from on course. Because she was a diligent person, she accelerated her mistakes to the extreme. Thus resulting in… this.

Satou Kazuma, contrary to the popular belief, was a fair man. Yes, he may abuse his position and go overboard. Several times. And while he enjoyed this, that's something he justified as it mostly resulted in harassing three major troubles of his life; his party. But on multiple occasions, he abused people he thought was good people. Like Yun Yun, or Wiz. Wiz. One of the people he considered normal; in comparison to his crazy party. She truly was a good person. Too good, that he sometimes felt bad and felt in debt to her as well. And comparing the crabs he had for dinner last night and her 90 meal worth of breadcrumbs, he felt like he should help her out. Help her earn **her** share of the money. Help her buy some edible food. And buy her some new clothes. Perhaps a white summer dress with revealing- no, he was going off track.

Kazuma looked around the shop He didn't need to look at an inventory to see it was full of unsellable goods. And it needed to change.

**A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 02.

When Kazuma finished his thoughts, Wiz had finished cleaning up the mess he had created. Content with her work, Wiz went and put the broom away. Only to find discontent and serious-looking Kazuma standing before her counter.

"Kazuma-san? Is there something wrong? If this is about the jar, it's okay-." "Wiz, I want you to hire me."

* * *

Wiz stopped dead in her tracks. Then quickly backtracked and stood in combat position he had seen in many veteran wizards. She narrowed her eyes and slowly raised her hands, glowing deep purple. Kazuma swore he saw her eyes turn purple and red. He jumped to his feet, searching for her reason for alarm. But stopped also when he realized his friend was glaring at **him**.

**"What are you, and what have you done to Kazuma-san?" **Her voice was cold as a blizzard middle of a tundra. Kazuma couldn't breathe for a moment; crushed by a deathly aura closing in on every inch.

"W, Wiz. It's me, Kazuma. It's really me."

"You're lying." "What?" "You're lying. Kazuma-san will never willingly work." "Eh?"

"Kazuma-san never works if he has to. He thinks working and questing is the worst. He only works because he had to survive. Vanir-san told me his ultimate wish is to lay back and enjoy his wealth, doing nothing all day! Like, like a NEET!"

Kazuma inwardly spewed blood. NEET. He never cared at Aqua calling him that. It was, what they said; pot calling a kettle black. And over time, that insult had become one of her favorite repertory insulting him. It was like a brother calling another brother 'dickhead'; an offensive insult but with sort of affection. ...Sort of. But on the other hand, Wiz, a good person and pure through and through calling him a NEET, hit him hard. ...Although it wasn't true. I still hurt, a lot.

"Wi, Wiz. I just want to help out." "No, that can't be true either! Kazuma-san isn't good enough to help out 'freely'. He only steps in when it's his concern! If there was an accident and if he was an only witness, he wouldn't step out to testify unless it was his problem! And he's, he's-." Suddenly, Wiz stopped assaulting him. "...in the end, he's a good person." "..." "...I'm sorry Kazuma-san. I was too confused for a moment."

* * *

Wiz's hand fell and she took a seat across from Kazuma. "So, what did you say about hiring you?" "..." "...Kazuma-san?"

Kazuma's head was swimming. Wiz considered him a good person. She thought she was a good person. He felt something tingle at that compliment. It was nice being complimented once in a while. "Kazuma-san? Are you okay?" He looked up at Wiz's Cocoa warm eyes and started talking.

"I want to work for you because I want to repay you." "Repay me? Why?" "I learned some skills from you which helped me out in critical moments. You helped me and my party when we were in a tight spot. You managed to sell us items that were useful. -Only a few, but still." He quickly added the last part to stop Wiz boosting her 'business ego'. "It's thanks to you that we have a nice house to live in, a chance to hit big with Vanir. It might've been my luck, but the medium was all you. And I want to help you, at least get better food then... those."

Kazuma stopped and breathed out. That was one of the truest and sincere words he had ever spoken. He was surprised at himself being able to speak** this **honest. Wiz looked surprised herself. She knew Kazuma meant well. And that he was very sincere. She took a moment to take it all in. And opened her mouth;

"Sorry, but I can't hire you."

"Not because I hate you or anything!" She quickly waved her hands in front of her face, in full denial. "Well, then, do you like me?" "It's not that either!" She cut the line so clear that it was almost too cold. "Eh, it's not that! I like you, but not like-like you. It's just-." Kazuma laughed. The tension was flying away at her confused, bewildered waves. Wiz seems to calm down at his laugh. "Sorry. I was off a bit. I can't hire you- because I can't afford to pay you." "Pay me?" "Of course. I must pay you for your time and troubles." "Wiz, I want to help you. It's more of volunteer work for me. You don't have to pay me." "Oh? ...But, but Vanir-san will be angry deciding things without consulting him..." Kazuma knew Vanir did this to stop the money flowing out of the leaks in the shop safe. But he wasn't going to be trouble. And Wiz needed to take confidence in herself to grow. ...If it goes in a better way then she was going now.

"Wiz, you're the owner and manager of this shop, right?" "R, right." "Then why are you too timid? I won't cost you any money. I swear, if I cost you anything, I'll take it off my share of the money." "...I really can't pay you anything. Is it okay?" "No, no, no. Really. Truly. " "Then, Welcome to the team, Kazuma-san!" "_Yosh! _Nice to be working for you too!"

* * *

Kazuma looked through the ledger and the inventory of the shop. Wiz wrote in a simple version of the Belzergian Alphabet while Vanir wrote in a graceful cursive of the noble house. And while Wiz wrote losses and purchases of ridiculous sums, Vanir wrote small profits and reasonable sale. This place was filled with more nicknack than he imagined. He needed to give Vanir applause for being able to handle this boat.

He knew this shop needed change. And ultimately give Wiz a change. He had some ideas but really, where to begin?

While pondering this, Wiz came out from the back, smiling at Kazuma. "How's the inventory check going Kazuma-san?" "Ah, well, good. Good. Wiz, I need to ask you something-." "Oh, before that, Kazuma-san, can you go to the market with me?" "The market?" "Yes. I need help carrying the purchases." Purchases? Was she going merchandise hunting? This looked like a good opportunity to assess Wiz in her purchasing skills. "Well, then. Let's lock up the shop and go." "Wait, didn't you have something to tell me?" "Hm? No. It's nothing important." "Alright. Let's go then."

They locked up (on Kazuma's insistence) and went out. Out of the ally, and into the main road. The festivity of the market day was in the air. Kazuma didn't know then that, this was going to be a market day to be remembered for a long, long time...

**A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 03.

Market days in Axel was getting more and more colorful as the time went by recently. Some worried this was temporal and the recession will be harder as they prospered. But no one took that seriously as they simply enjoyed this rare holiday.

Cactus-shaped poles and many flags fluttered along with the wind. Red, yellow and blue tents over the stalls and booths. At the head of the square was the Merchant Guild house with its many gables. And many ancient columns depicting the forgotten big-bellied god of wealth held up the house.

Little kids dared one another to climb on the god's belly. And then a guild clerk came out with a broom and shooed them away like a grouchy neighbor and one's cat. The god just laughed at the silly kids and laughed at his patron children for being themselves; a merchant; men and women sold and bought. cheated and stole. told the truth and got the suspicious eye. It was like a legal casino, a giant playground with no darkness smeared on to it.

And among those players and dealers, A lich and her new employee (via adviser) was taking their time looking at all the pleasantries it had to offer.

* * *

Kazuma waved to the bearded mohawk adventurer working a grill and got a proud smile and a thumbs up. Kazuma shook his head in denial but he just gave him an understanding smile and two thumbs up. Kazuma just gave him an awkward laugh and ran to catch up with his boss.

"Well, you said shopping. So, anything on your mind?"

"Hmm, No. I don't have a list with me. I plan to browse and find something that would sell."

* * *

"Step right up folks, step right up! Delicious Karaage on sale, Karaage~! Fresh Karaage! Fresh Karaage on full half price!"

It was then when they heard the too familiar voice of a certain goddess. Wiz looked up from the display of various blue textures. And Kazuma looked down from staring at the bird sitting on top of the pole.

There she was. The goddess herself. Wearing a white bandana and a green apron. Frying Karaage. And she had a small line waiting for **her** food. Wiz looked at this scene with fascination, Kazuma looked at this with worry; knowing all of Aqua's part-time jobs never ended well.

**Gurgle~ **"Wiz...?" "...Yes, Kazuma-san?" "Are you hungry?"

Wiz quickly wiped her mouth, but she couldn't stop her stomach. Surprising really, that her stomach could still growl for food when it was dead.

"Let's go, Wiz. I'll buy you a cup." "N, no. Kazuma-san, I can't possibly waste your money on me." "It's just a cup of Karaage, nothing big. I did ruin your lunch today. Think of it as... a payback." "...Thank you very much."

Wiz blushed hard as she tried to keep her tummy from growling again. Kazuma laughed at this and pulled her toward the Karaage stand.

* * *

"There you go. Karaage for three. Thank you. Come again. -Urgh. Why is an 'undead' walking the street in daylight? Among the 'living'?"

Wiz flinched at her savage remarks and unpleasant glares of Aqua.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Bowing her head and apologizing for her existence didn't help the said goddess size down her swollen head. As she made an obnoxious smirk and jerked her head toward Kazuma.

"And you have guts to use my loyal servant and a prize acolyte of the Axis church with you."

At this Kazuma was already boiling at the fact that the useless goddess was bullying Wiz again. And drawing unwanted attention,

"I'm not your servant and I'm not an acolyte to your crazy cult, you useless goddess!" Aqua grumbled at this and rubbed her head over the hairnet.

"Hmph. Whatever. Just go. I don't sell anything to traitors and the undead." At this point, she glared down at the already shivering Wiz and made her grovel in fear.

Irked off, Kazuma banged his palm on the counter and cried out in a loud voice.

"Aqua. Are you refusing to serve your customer? Without any particular reason? Oh, just think of the image and the money this stall is going to lose~."

'That Kazuma! He's trying to ruin me! well, two can play at that game!'

"S, so what? I'll explain everything to the corps. It'll be about time too!"

"Oh, Aqua. Can't you think of the consequences to come? You'll lose more ground in this party for ratting out a friend. And you'll face the wrath of Vanir and you have no real power or your followers to save you from his true wrath. And if you think that's enough, think again. We'll all be arrested for harboring an actual commander of the Demon King's army. We'll get a real trial and get executed or be imprisoned for life. No backings from Darkness this time too."

Aqua trembled as Kazuma rapted all this to her trembling head. She never expected him to be this serious. Why didn't he see this lich for what it was? A criminal who opposed the laws of heavens. It was something unnatural and disgusting and inhumane; like a giant toad. Just looking at it made her skin crawl and She looked at him, terrified. Still smiling and talking nonchalantly as if talking about the weather, delivered the final blow.

"And Aqua? Remember I can always bail out on paying your booze debt-"

That did it. Aqua stamped her feet impatiently and puffed out her cheeks in annoyance.

"Alright! Alright! I'll give you two something. Just stay right there."

"…Kazuma-san, was that necessary?"

"What? An eye for an eye Wiz, she threatened you, I threaten her. Simple."

* * *

"So- Why are you doing with a Lich anyway?"

"I'm helping her out with her buying. Lifting and carrying, you know."

Aqua stopped her chopping and looked at him with incredulity. Something he saw **every time** when he got in 'associated' with Wiz.

"Wait, you're helping 'this' out- with no payment?"

"Yep. Seems like it."

"No way. You never help anyone without equal payment. Look at me for example."

"Eh, that's because that's just you."

"What?"

"Think about it. Since we started adventuring, you kept loading debt and stress on me. You've been more trouble to me than the times you've been helpful. I won't deny that there's something similar to a friendship between us, but that's it. I have no reason to help you out with no compensations. Instead, you should be helping me out with no payment. But Wiz has helped us out more and I owe some favors to her. Considering this, I have plenty of reason to help her out. Savvy?"

"Oh, come on. I have done some good things too you know?"

Kazuma rolled his eyes in irritation. As usual, Aqua didn't listen or didn't get what he had just said. She was like wet cement; no matter how much you punched at it, you never can reach into its core.

"If you had one it must be hidden behind all those debts you caused!"

"W, well. Everyone makes mistakes you know?"

"Yes well, you outnumber me by that plenty, so suck on that!"

"Urgh, whatever. Just take your fries and go."

She half-slammed two paper cups of her karaage on the counter. She slapped Wiz's unconscious grabby-hands. She gazed at her with her eyebrows raised.

"Before you can, just pay up for these fries."

* * *

"Wow~ this smells so divine! And it tastes divine too!"

"Wait, you didn't put any holy water here, did you?"

Aqua's hand froze as she put the coins into her money box. She actually paled and got a void expression on her face. Then she started banging her head on the table.

"…Oh, I knew I knew I forgot something! It's all your fault Kazuma! You got me distracted by your small talk!"

"Yeah, well. Good luck with your job Aqua."

"Yes! Good-bye and good luck Aqua-Sama!"

"By the way, Kazuma? I'm going to be late tonight. There's a trainee orientation I have to carry out after we close. Tell the others not to worry, okay? -Hey, lich, what are you doing?"

Kazuma grabbed Wiz before she could stand in her offensive pose again. Though he wasn't sure himself. Aqua in charge of something? Darkness would become a Mistress of an SM club before that happens.

"Hey, Kazuma. It's not my fault that I'm so talented at making and selling Karage. Although it can't be helped since I'm the perfect goddess of the Axis cult, Aqua-."

"Okay then see you later."

Leaving off the self-deluded goddess behind, Kazuma pulled Wiz along. They could hear Aqua humming and puffing behind but who'd care about her? They were too absorbed in the Karaage to care.

**A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.**

* * *

Chapter 03.5.

Aqua watched them as she waved them away. They were laughing and talking while eating. They looked like old friends or a couple.

'If that doesn't look like a date, I don't know what is.'

Then she snapped out of it. Shaking her head in denial. Kazuma and others were starting to get to her. She mustn't see that lich as a human being or give it too much affection. While she had no real intention of killing her, she still couldn't treat her like a friend or an equal being. She knew the consequences of befriending an immortal enemy of the gods. ...Especially if they had no chance of saving them.

...Every life had an end. Even immortal ones. When their story ended and had no more pages or will to fill the pages were gone, it was a mercy to judge them and make them move on. Like Kir. He was an undead and once also an enemy to the gods, but while giving him judgment she knew and felt that Kir's life was filled with nothing but kindness and happy memories with his wife. In and after his death. And every day was filled thanks and apologies to their goddess; her.

She always had a soft spot for her children. And wanted to save them from Eris's Judgment. So she had pardoned them. -Though if they had gone on well to the next life was a mystery, she knew she had made the right choice. But Wiz?

She wasn't at the end of her journey. And thus her judgment was impossible to give. And when she was able to receive her judgment, she wouldn't be here to give it. Aqua sighed. Eris was an absolute figure in this world and do nothing more than give out severe punishments to those who didn't follow the rule of heaven. She wished she could do something to help her, but there was nothing she could do. Was there? ...Was there?

All of these thoughts went through her innermost thoughts and never reached the surface. With a frustrative groan, Aqua clutched her head. Her head felt numb and cold. As if a dead hand was gripping her brain. She was too dumb to think of this rationalized reason for distancing herself from Wiz. But she knew as an instinct. An instinct that will forever make her feel only contempt and disgust toward the lich, not her natural feelings of pity and remorse.

With a last glare, she turned around and resumed touting in her inviting voice.

"Step right up folks, step right up! Delicious Karaage on sale, Karaage~! Fresh Karaage! Fresh Karaage on full half price!"

**A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 04.

'Wow, this is really good. I didn't know that useless goddess was actually good at something!'

Kazuma thought as he picked up another karaage and popped into his mouth. When he looked at Wiz, she was actually tearing up. Her hands were trembling as she picked another one and carefully took a nibble.

He could feel her conflict. She was hungry enough to eat the entire cup in one gulp. But she also wanted to savor the first real food she has had in weeks. Or maybe months. Maybe that's why she was eating her fries in a frantic nibble.

"Wiz, take mine." "Eh!? I can't do that, Kazuma-san. You did more than enough already." "Nah, I think I got more than enough, too."

Kazuma patted his stomach to emphasize his full stomach. Twitching like a cat looking at a new food, Wiz slowly reached her hand out and took the cup. She took a small sniff and her face loosened up in pure ecstasy.

She took a nugget and popped it into her mouth.

* * *

**(Wiz): KONOSUBA!**

* * *

"Hey, miss Shopkeeper!"

A bushy-bearded stallkeeper was waving at Wiz. Wiz waved back with a wide smile.

"Good morning! How's the business?" "Pretty well! How about you?" "Not so well actually…." "Hahaha! Well, I think I think I can help you with that."

She seemed to know him well... Kazuma looked at the things the men had on display. Junk, Scrap, Junk, Junk... Hm, a glass bottle. This might be worth something.

While he was looked at the clear glass bottle with deep intrigue, the man Laughed at the shy Wiz, started to rummage through the things behind him. Not really trusting the man, Kazuma whispered to Wiz.

"Wiz, you know that man?" "He's one of the magic item dealers here. And one of my favorite dealers."

That man was going on the store's blacklist. He made a mental note and checked on it. But from besides that, this was a good chance to assess Wiz's skill as a negotiator and a merchant.

"We got some impressive items today as well. Do you want to take a look?"

"Yes! What do you have today?"

"Well then take a look at this. The monster luring potion and bell. And if you use them together, the effect increases by tenfold!"

…So it was you who sold her that monster luring potion, Eh? I had to go through more giant toads and slimes because of that crazy thing. Argh. I thought it was all over when Darkness had used up her last bottle. ...Who would've thought she left one bottle in the closet and forgot. Or the potion would strengthen over time. She found it, used it on our quest to find those golden apples and... Urgh. He never thought he would become a doujin material.

"And look here. A dagger that hits a critical hit after one hundred swings!"

That could be useful. But seeing that cheap glint, it should break after one blow. And considering how strong a swing should be to be counted as a swing, this could be- worthless. ...Wait a minute, I think I saw Chris had that dagger, just yesterday. I think she bought it cheap from a street stall. ...Better warn her later.

"And finally, a magic scroll that makes the user use… Nature's beauty one time!"

Kazuma looked at the gray-blue scroll in pure disgust. Because he was behind Wiz, she didn't see his rotten face. But the bearded man got the full blast of ugly. While he flinched a bit but didn't show any signs of surprise.

Kazuma's face crumpled up more when he saw the cheap wax seal had Aqua's hairpiece on it. He could almost hear Aqua's cheap nagging; 'Kazuma, Kazuma, Kazuma~'

"-Yep. This stuff is nothing but junk.'

"Come on Wiz, this stuff is-."

"Wow! I'll take one!"

"Me too. Give me one of them! No, a dozen!"

But before he could do anything, a man with a weasel-like thin face and eyes and a fat woman with tanuki-like eye shadows and mouth butted in and fawning over the worthless scroll.

'Woah! What's going on?'

"What? Then I'll take two dozen!"

"Why you old hag, I'll take three dozen then!"

The heated words quickly turned to a small brawl, awkward punches and hair tugging.

'Oh, I think I can guess what's going.' Kazuma snickered at this as he looked at the stallkeeper. He was going to put on a bewildered face and pry these two apart and then say...

"Now, now, ladies and gents. Settle down. There's plenty to go around."

'Just as I thought. They are 'sakura', wingmen. It's pretty obvious, seeing that they're not buying anything. Or appearing out of thin air. Or just by their faces. Man, what lame acting. I can't believe anyone would fall for this-'

"I'll take some! Please, give me room please!"

'Wizzzzzz-!'

"Hey, Wiz, wait for a minute- gah!"

"Hey, don't push! Get in line like everyone else!"

The weasel shoved him in the gut, hard. Completely winded, Kazuma huffed out several painful gasps. While he clutched his abdomen, the weasel and the tanuki shoved him behind them. Kazuma glared at them only to have glared back and sneered on by the two wingmen.

'Urgh! They're trying to block me out!'

"Wiz! Wiz! Man, this is bad, I can't see her through all these people."

It seemed like two wingmen were good at their jobs. Or these people were gullible just like Wiz. 'They could be potential customers. No, pull yourself together!'

"Wiz! Wiz!"

"Oh, Kazuma-san!"

The sea of customers opened up like the red sea and Wiz was its Moses. And she was carrying...

"Wiz! -Wait, those things you're holding, are they…?"

"Yes! I managed to buy five dozens of them in that chaos! I'm really lucky today!"

Five dozen of piles of... non-recyclable Aquas. Terrific. Kazuma inwardly groaned as he took the gray-blue parchment from his boss. He stumbled, balancing the stallkeeper's stock in his arms. He looked at the smiling stallkeeper and muttered under his breath.

"At least sell her ropes to tie these things together."

The stallkeeper didn't meet his eyes as he counted Wiz's coins. He simply shrugged his greasy elbows.

"Sorry. Don't have that in stock."

* * *

"Hey, fancy seeing you here miss shopkeeper~!"

"My, my, nice seeing you today as well, miss~!"

'…I guess she's one of Wiz's best seller's as well.'

Kazuma looked at Wiz's dangling purse. He could hear it screaming in hunger already. But it looked like its guts and glory was going to this- She had cleaner clothes and hair. But she still had that dirty gleam in her eyes he knew so well; Eyes of trash. Well, this woman looked worse than that man.

"Oh my. Looks like you got quite a deal there today as well, eh miss?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure I'll be able to take more deals though."

"Oh, don't worry. I'm sure you'll find something worth buying."

"Well take a look at this item, it's a bottle that explodes when it touches fire. Nifty, right?"

'…And I think I know who sold her those explosive bottles.'

"Wow, look at this Kazuma-san!"

"Yeah, I expected that kind of reaction from you. What do you say? These don't come in the market that often. This may be the only chance you'll be able to buy these."

'Heh, there's no way she'll buy these, after all, she has the whole stack similar-"

"Hm, you might be right. These really are worth buying. Let's see, where's my wallet?"

'Wizzzzzz-!'

"Hold it, Wiz!"

"Yes?"

"Think about it. Are those really worth buying? You have similar stuff back at the shop, remember?"

"But, they really must be worth it if she's say so, right?"

"Yeah, bro. Don't be a spoilsport. What about it miss? It comes with a two-plus one offer right now. It'll be a shame to miss out on this once in a lifetime offer."

"Eh, is that so!? Then I'll take it all! Here's the money!"

"Hehe, thanks for the business. Then I'll drop them off at the usual place after sunset."

"Yes, see you then!"

'Oi, oi, oi… Wiz, what were you thinking? Even considering the two-plus on offer, the price for the two is way higher than what's really worth.'

* * *

**(Desperate Kazuma): KONOSUBA!**

* * *

"…Wiz, can I ask you something?"

"Of course!"

"Won't you get trouble with Vanir? For wasting the shop's funds?"

"Ah, don't worry about that. I'm confident that these will fly off the shelves!"

"How can you tell?"

"Because they said so! 'They will fly off the shelves!'."

Oh, Wiz. There are time and place to believe in the good in good of humanity.

'This is bad. Wiz's shopkeeping power is zero… no, below zero!'

"Then shall we go back, Kazuma-san?"

While Wiz was smiling at her 'supposed' good purchase, Kazuma was screaming inside. He could see Vanir with his murder ray ready. And he was glaring at Wiz. ...Or was it at him? He really couldn't read that demon.

He really had to do something now. He couldn't go back and cancel her orders since it was already done. Then what to do? What to do? He had to do something. This was going from a pleasant assessment to an another life betting gamble!

He felt that cold chill run down his spine again. The chill he felt when Megumin dragged him off to cast her explosions. The chill he felt he felt when Aqua made him take her treasure hunting to the Church Catacombs. The chills he felt when Darkness gave him black leather whip for a present.

'This might be the most dangerous thing I've ever done.'

**A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 05.

"Kazuma? Kazuma? Hey, Kazuma?"

Darkness, wearing her pink nightgown dress, shook her hand in front of the pondering teen. Kazuma didn't blink as Darkness's hand (and her large breasts) waved in front of him. Megumin, in her giant red T-shirt with crimson demon markings, while holding Chomusuke shook her head.

"You won't get any response from him. I tried."

"Hey, Megumin, isn't Kazuma acting strange today?"

"Yes, you're right. You waved your boobs in front of him for five minutes and he didn't even drool. Is he sick?"

Finally noticing Darkness's flustered remarks and Megumin's blend attitude, Kazuma raised his head from the couch cushion and looked at the bickering duo with bored eyes.

"...Hey, do you two know anything about Magic Items?"

"Although I do know something about some items, I can't say that I have."

"Me neither."

"Is that so...?"

Kazuma hung his head. He hoped those two would help him in this situation; Darkness's home had several expensive magic items and Megumin was an arch wizard, and her father was a magic item maker (albeit a useless one). He was running out of options. He had to do something. It was lucky that Vanir was away for a business trip. If he wasn't, Wiz (and possibly he) would've gotten a full blast of his murder ray. He felt like pulling out his hair. His only option and adviser left was...

* * *

"Hey! I'm home! I brought leftover Karaage!"

A delicious waft of fresh fried chicken invaded the room. Megumin's mouth watered and Darkness's hard face softened at the delicious aroma. Kazuma, who would've run straight toward the food, didn't move an inch off the couch. He simply looked toward the goddess, smiling as if she did not worry about the world.

"...Heh."

"Hey, why are you laughing at my face? That's a punishable offense in the Axel church."

"Neh, I'm envious of you. You must have no worries what so ever."

"That's rude. I **do **have worries too you know."

He scoffed it off, not taking her opinion too seriously. He laughed himself off for saying something like that to her in the first place. If she only had directed her overconfidence differently, she would be a perfect gyaru or bimbo.

"I'm talking about something else from debts."

Aqua held her chin and tried to think hard; she must have at least one worry that haunted her. She knew she had... Urgh. It did hurt to think. But she wanted to get back at Kazuma on this one. But she only found nothing but vague worries of debts, booze, and... more debts.

"...I **do** have worries. I **do**!"

Kazuma didn't seem surprised and made a bored face that he made whenever their fight got into a stalemate. He knew there was no more real fights left, just random words and slapsticks.

"Why did you hesitate there?"

"...I don't know. But I **do **have worries! ...Ah, right! I got attacked by a wandering spirit today."

That got his attention. He raised his head off the back of the couch and looked at her with very little interest.

"Ah, right. You're a spirit&undead magnet. So, how many was it?"

Getting attention from curious Megumin and excited Darkness, Aqua relished the attention and started exaggeratedly. Hearing her first tone, Kazuma instantly turned his back again, but she didn't notice as she rolled on.

"Well, it started as one when I left the shop, then it a second, then third, honestly? I lost count."

Megumin imagined an entire horde of ghosts chasing her, and then remembered when she had to sleep in a graveyard once when her father had to sell their house... She recalled those terrifying nights and lightning bouncing off cracked gravestones...

"That's... hard."

In contrast to the grim-faced Megumin, Darkness herself ravished those few lines. Quickly over spicing Aqua's story with her sexual frustrations... She huffed and panted as she rubbed her legs together in- over imagination.

"What happened then? D, did a powerful spirit took over your body? And you watched helplessly as your hands moved on your own and, and grope here and pinch there until you, you broke and submitted to pure pleasure?"

"No way. I got rid of them in one punch."

Aqua cut off her wild assumptions with a cold, definitive remark. And once again, made a mental note to put her in the bottom for her Axis devotee recruitment list.

Kazuma waited for the excitement and tension to die down. And then turned his head back and asked Aqua the question he wanted to ask for so long. She better have better answers since she wasted his pondering time.

"Hey, Aqua, do you know anything about magic items?"

"No. Why should I?"

The answer was somewhat expected but still disappointing. Not hiding his frustration with the useless goddess, he huffed and clutched the back of his neck, rubbing it to soothe his temper.

"And you call yourself a goddess?"

Not liking his response, she also puffed out in annoyance. She tried to put on her most holy face.

"That's **because **I'm a goddess. I'm an embodiment of mana and holy power. Why should I know something about those?"

"...Well, that's that then."

* * *

Kazuma turned his back on her and resumed slouching on the couch. Infuriated in his ignoring attitude, Aqua stamped her foot. She shoved her bag of still hot Karaage to Megumin, which made Chomusuke yowl and jump down in surprise, turned. Then went back out of the room. She was angry. Kazuma, who usually took care of these situations was clearly... busy. Darkness took it upon herself to ask this important question to her.

"Where are you going?"

A huffy reply came back beyond the door. They all heard the main doors open before the angry goddess yelled out in clear annoyance;

"I'm going to beat up some more spirits! I'll be back when I'm done."

* * *

Darkness looked at the closed door. She didn't like the idea Aqua using spirits as a punching bag. She believed stray spirits should be treated **without **personal means. Well, that was what Eris church believed. But as for Axis beliefs... She waved the trivial thoughts aside.

"I'm going to eat some Karaage and go to bed. Goodnight."

Megumin left the chat first, back to drooling over the fried treat. She looked eager to dig in. Understanding her desire, they both waved her off. Kazuma reacted late, realizing that he was hungry, he yelled after her petite back.

"Hey, leave some for me. I'll be needing those later."

Megumin's muffled 'okay' could be heard in the kitchen. ...But he didn't trust Megumin's hunger over her voice of reason. He better go into the kitchen. But if he left the couch now, he would lose his train of thought, after he had come so far... or did he?

"Kazuma, is something wrong? You look... more serious than usual."

Darkness looked worried; Kazuma rarely was this serious. And him ignoring good 'free' food? That was never heard of since she had known him.

Kazuma looked at her in the face. While he was in a calm and wise faze, he got a closer look at his crusader. While she was mostly wild and masochistic, she was usually the one with calm reason inside the group. If she was in this state, he could ask his problems with a bit of hope.

"Well, it's something about Wiz. I said that I would help her in her shop."

He was let down when Darkness shook her head with a sorry smile.

"I can't say anything about that. I can't help you with something I don't know about."

"Yeah. You can't do anything when you don't know anything..."

He stopped right then as he saw a flash at the end of the tunnel. His train of thought let out a whistle signaling their arrival at the station; **You can't do anything when you don't know about it...**

"Kazuma? Kazuma? Hey, Kazuma!"

Kazuma jumped out of the couch. And ran after Megumin into the kitchen.

"That's it! I think I have it! Thanks, Darkness! Hey, Megumin, make room! I'm going to eat- hey, don't push it all into your mouth!"

**A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 06.

The morning started with a loud blast.

Wiz was sweeping the front of the shop when the blast reached the town. A light breeze blew away the pile of leaves she had swept up. She turned her head to see a faint trail of smoke rising from Verdia's old castle.

'There's Megumin-san and Kazuma-sans daily explosion.'

"Hey, Wiz." "Hello, Kazuma-san. Nice explosion today as well? ...Eh? Kazuma-san?" "Ah, I made Megumin take Darkness with her today." "And they were okay with it?" "Well, Megumin seemed happy to bring Darkness along. She said she was glad to bring another person into her explosion-cult. And Darkness wanted to get a chance to feel explosion close, again... Don't ask." "Ah, I get it." Wiz nodded her head in acceptance.

"Didn't they ask you why you were going?" "I already told them I was going to work a part-time job for you." "But I told you you could stop coming..." "And I told you I was going to help you. So, What should I do?"

Wiz looked at her broom and looked at the scattered leaf piles. She shook her head; If she was going to get his help, at least get her job done by herself. "Kazuma-san. There should be our sign inside the shop. could you bring it outside?" With a curt nod, he went inside. Wiz looked at the sky again before she began sweeping up the leaves again.

* * *

"Okay~That's all done."

Finishing writing on the sign with today's sale Kazuma wiped his brow. He rubbed the chalk-powder off his pants before heading inside.

"So, what's next on the list?'

Wiz smiled as she put away the brooms. And she came back with the small stand and the pile of... those nature's beauty scroll she had bought. He looked at them with heated distaste.

"I thought of putting them on display today. Right in the corner there. Could you help out?"

'Well, at least it's not the exploding bottles.' "Well, there's no point in stuffing them in storage I guess. So, How much do you plan to charge for them?" "Eh, About this much."

Kazuma took a small piece of paper from her. He squinted as he gazed at the written numbers. Arabian numbers, to add. His eyes widened as he took one look at it.

"Wiz... this is the almost the same price as you bought them. Did you make a mistake?"

Wiz cocked her heads as she looked at Kazuma with slight confusion. Mistake? Did she make any mistake when she wrote them today? She checked the ledgers and receipts before she decided on the price; a price that would please everyone. Her and the customers.

"Yes, it's no mistake."

Kazuma relaxed his shoulders and laughed. Wiz also chuckled, covering her mouth with the purple sleeve. They laughed for a full minute before Kazuma began filling the display with the scrolls and then reaching out to put on the label.

"Oh, okay. Then I'll just go and- 'no mistake'!?"

Kazuma whipped around and picked at her remarks as he did with his party members. He pointed at her and then at the price tag in a repeating flurry. Wiz held up her hands in surprise. Kazuma calmed down enough to talk more quietly.

"Are you serious!? You won't be able to retrieve even the principle capital!"

but it was more serious than that. With a lack of demands in the product and lack of customers in the shop... Yes, it was more serious than that. But contrast to Kazuma's burning insides, Wiz's face was shining with pleasure.

"But the customers would be happier that way."

Wiz smiled more broadly as she imagined happy customers buying the scrolls. And then stopped, imagining Aqua kicking down the door and attacking her for mass selling her party tricks; 'You damn undead, don't take away my one unique point as a character!' Kazuma watched Wiz pulling a scroll back and putting it back as she conflicted over customer's happiness or her well-being. He smiled warmly as he looked down at the curly numbers Wiz had written on the paper.

'Wiz is too good of a person... Is she really a lich? The undead king? Hm? Wait a minute.'

Kazuma stopped in his tracks as he looked at Wiz's unnaturally white skin into attention; clearly for the first time.

**Wiz is a lich. **She didn't need to eat to survive. She doesn't need money to survive. As she said, **eating was luxury for her.** Then... it makes sense that she doesn't care or know about running a business. She doesn't need to know it to live... Or so to speak. She needs the money to help Vanir build his dungeon. But since he is immortal like her... for her, she has all the time in the world. Or either that she got a bit relaxed or lazy because she became almost immortal. To her, shopkeeping is just a hobby...

He needed to ask her later.

**A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.**

**I'm planning another project; Project September Morning Bell. It's actually TWO stories. A storyboard project for the previous discontinued story of [The Great Showgirl] and a think-and-write project called [Aqua therapy]. An Aqua version of [Shopkeeping Wiz]. It might change in the middle since I'm also thinking of a Megumin & Yun Yun one. But I'll have to finish this first.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 07.

There were two signs that signed the start of a new day in Axel.

One, a loud explosion in the break of dawn. Made by an explosion addicted crazy loli; which was a sign of the unofficial start of the day. People woke up and prepared breakfast, got ready for work, swept the front of their shops. And second...

A silver glimmer bounced the silver bells inside the belfry. As if on cue bells of the Exel Eris church resounded to sound the beginning of the morning hours of the new day.

second, the morning prayer bells of the Exel Eris church. Those who slept in cried in panic as they searched for their clothes and rushed out not eating their breakfasts. Shops opened and so did the guild.

The city of Axel truly awoke and started off on their new day.

...And so did the small shop on the outskirts of the market district. Where its shopkeeper took out today's work on the counter and flip abacus and shuffle through a pile of papers.

* * *

Seeing Wiz doing paperwork for the first time, Kazuma stopped cleaning the window and walked to the counter, curious to find out what she was doing.

"Doing paperwork?"

"Ah, no. I'm planning for tonight."

"Something up?"

"There's been mass exorcism requests last night. And it seems like they're more to handle. I usually perform the exorcism rites and take requests on a weekly basis but it's very rare to get this many requests on one day. I'm afraid something might be happening behind my back."

She glanced at the metronome as she said this, then adjusted it in a favorable position. She nodded as the metronome slightly ticked ominously. Kazuma reached out and stopped the needle. As he did, the eye on the star glinted purple.

He quickly looked away, 'I didn't see that, I didn't see that- Hmm?' He eyed something and picked it up; A name, Lemon Doneck, the man who gave him their mansion for almost nothing. And it was on a list of requests. There were already a dozen names and requests on this list, and it seemed to be one of many.

"Did you take all of those requests?"

"Of course. It's one of my duties after all. As the king of the undead, I have the responsibility to help the wandering souls to descend to the heavens."

Wiz's duty. But it was foremost, a priest's duty to lead the wandering sprits up to the heavens. But everyone came to Wiz for her services. Wiz had the town's spirit exorcism business under her belt. But that won't be an option to save this shop; a trickle from a stream couldn't save a drying river. But even so, unlike those priests, Wiz was...

"Wiz, you're a very reliable, diligent person."

Wiz's face turned bright red as her cowlick twitched here and there. She was caught off guard as she got a rare compliment from another person.

"Eh? Is that so? I'm just doing my job."

**Doing one's job**. There was something that was so simple yet so hard to do. Like cleaning up one's room, or studying hard to get better grades. ...Or getting out his room and going back to school. It was all **doing one's work**. It took willpower to do that. And willpower was something that not many people had.

**Doing one's work?** That was something she should be proud of. But she was very humble nonetheless. Humility even though capable. That was something that took even more willpower. There was a reason for humility being one of the seven virtues.

"...That's also one of your good points."

"Ah, w, well thank you Kazuma-san..."

"Are you going to do it tonight?"

Wiz snapped back to attention as she picked up several notes and drawing depicting broken walls and animal bruises. Her eyes seemed to sharpen as she flipped through more papers and began to organize them... Like a king planning a budget for natural disasters.

"Yes. There've already been reports of several damaged property. And these kinds of things need immediate actions or it can..."

Kazuma nodded at this. He remembered when that bastard girl ghost wanted to 'play' with him and Megumin. And that has been scary enough. But for a ghost intending harm...? That'll be devasting for the entire town. Especially with a bunch of them? ...Bunch of them?

* * *

"Speaking of which, how much do you get paid for this?"

Wiz tapped her pen on the ledger as she added sums in her head. She chewed on her lips as she slowly nodded her head.

"The reward? Well, that differs from the situation and the type of spirit. But it usually costs about a couple of thousand Eris per quest."

'Is that too much or less? Considering Wiz, it might be less...'

"Is there something wrong? I know. It might be too much..."

'Well, if she says too much it probably means average. But I'll have to check that out later.'

But the important thing, for now, was that there were a **bunch** of exorcism quests coming in now. And if Wiz, who dealt with more than a dozen quest like this on a timely basis said that it was a lot, then it was... more than he could think of at the moment. It could help with the loss she made yesterday, or more if he could negotiate with the client.

"No, I was just curious. By the way, can I come along with you tonight? For the exorcism I mean."

"Eh? B, but you don't have to do that. Tonight's going to take longer than usual. It might take all night!"

She doesn't have to worry about that; he remembered when he stood in a line for the entire afternoon and night to get the newest copy of the game he so badly wanted. But of course, he died a week afterward so he never really got to play it... Shame really.

"You don't have to worry about it. It's all my whim. I won't be a burden."

"It's not that. But..."

"Then it's settled then, right? Let's get back to work!"

"Ah, well. Of course."

Wiz hesistantly went back to her papers as Kazuma got back to polishing the window.

**A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.**

**Just something trivial, but I never knew the flag of Monaco looked just like the flag of Indonesia until a few days ago. And at the same time, I realized that I mistook the Indonesian flag for the flag of Poland. Yeesh, what a mix-up.**

**Anyway, back to the subject; OMG! I saw the PV for KONOSUBA SE3 just a few days ago! Looks like the Crimson demon village arc and possibly the capital arc are finally being animated. Oh good. And looks like Kazumegumin shipping is going to be strong on this one. I'm not a strong shipper myself but, I still think they (mostly Megumin) look cute.**

**Maybe I can get some inspiration & ideas for the Megumin & Yun Yun stories from this Crimson demon village arc. But I should finish this and Aqua's first if anything.**

**It's great autumn this year; MHA SE4, BEASTARS, Assassin's Pride and Mairimashita! Iruma-Kun. (Nanatsu no taizai is also coming up, but I have to finish SE2 first.) Man, Iruma-Kun. I've waited so long for this. I'm so hyped about this. Now I have to hope Tokyo manji revengers are also going to be animated later. Hopefully sooner. And of course, if [Ability King KK] is still writing, we'll get another [Lumpy Pumpkin Holloween] this year as well!**

**Well, that's all the rambling for today. Cheers!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 08.

'Well, work is good and all, but it's already noon and there are no customers.' As he was collecting thoughts, Wiz, who had cleaned up the paper and was now at the back of the shop, popped out with a can of tea. "Kazuma-san, would you like to have some tea?"

Kazuma nodded. "Okay, please, take a seat. I'll go and get the teapot ready." Smiling, Wiz went back to the back. As Kazuma set down on the chair beside the front window, he could hear the merry whistling of the teapot coming from the kitchen area in the back. Hmm. Teapots. Maybe he could design a steel teapot with a plastic handle. Maybe not plastic. But anything that had low thermal conductivity.

As he thought about more business ideas, Wiz came out carrying a black wood tray. "Sorry for the delay. But it took time since this is a really good tea. I wanted to get it just right." A light whiff of earl gray. He remembered the scent from Aqua's attempt of making the said tea. He ended up drinking one carton worth of hot water. It looked like he was going to get some after all. "It smells good." "I know, right? Well, then. Care for a sip?"

They sat down by the front display as they sipped their noonday tea. Wiz had brought out one of her best tea sets for the occasion. White and green porcelain with decorative floral designs on them. Kazuma noticed she hadn't taken out the sugar bowl or the milk jug. Or the scones or sandwiches that came with tea. Probably because she didn't have any sugar or milk. Or ingredients for that matter. But his gray tea was good nonetheless.

"Wiz, your tea is good as always." "...Ah, thank you, Kazuma-san." Wiz swallowed her words with the tea and looked down at her teacup as if she was looking for something to pop out of her cup. "Hm?" Is there something wrong, Wiz?" "Ah, well... I'm glad that you're helping and I appreciate it! But... I feel sorry for wasting your valuable time, Kazuma-san." Oh, that again. "I told you, you don't need to worry about that. The choice was on my accord. You do the same if you were in my shoes, right?" "I guess... you have a point." "Alright, that's the end of that! And more tea please." "Yes, of course!"

* * *

"Anyway. The weather's nice today, isn't it?" "Yes, it's so peaceful today." "It's a kind of day you just... want to laze out and do nothing." "Yes, that does sound nice." "..." "..."

They sat there for a while. Just sipping tea and enjoying the view outside. It really was a beautiful day. Clear, light blue skies that seemed to go up forever. Emphasized by the high and tall white clouds hiding the gentle sunlight behind them. The didn't feel it, but they could tell a gentle summer breeze was blowing through town. A white and red kite could be seen flying in the distance. Before the sun was hidden by a curtain of clouds, casting a shadow over their sights. Kazuma sipped the fragrant tea again as rays of the sun started to rain down on earth once more. Halo of light softly drifting down to the ground. It was one of these moments that he felt like there really was a god.

As if responding to his thoughts, a slightly bigger ray shined right through the window. And it temporarily blinded him, making Kazuma look away from the window for a second. He wiped his eyes and blinked in surprise when a flash of purple went across his face. He adjusted his focus and gasped once more in awe. Lights. Lights everywhere. Glass bottles and mysterious gems that hung from the ceiling reflected subtle multicolored light around the shop. Raw sunlight joined the garden of light as it showed all the natural colors that once lost their say among the colorful lights. Fresh greens that still showed signs of light from the dried herbs. Old wood and parchment that continued to mature with age burned with as the gentle gleam presented themselves as an English gentleman. And among the gentleman were hooligans. Those cheap scammed bottles strutted around the show of harmony as it flashed its cheap pharmacy bottle brown gleam like a confident yet looser of a show-off at a party.

But that was only a part of a bigger and better background. A small part of the chaos that makes the party more... believable and complete. Chaos withing order. That brown glint did just that; it completed the entire scene like a colored illustration from the cover of a light novel. And with Wiz, slightly cocking her head left, curious about what he was staring at, completed it. With her gentle smile and warm eyes, she was the pretty girl on the cover which made otakus reach for the book. And later make them hooked up by her character and story.

Maybe there will be anime made about it. Yes. Then the new otakus and old ones battling over who the true fan was. And who had the right to make Wiz their waifu! Well, he was going to show them all off. ...Ah, best no to think of that dirty mind-warping insanity. Let's just enjoy the view and-

"...Like hell, I will! Everything is wrong!"

* * *

"Eh? Eh? What? What is?" Wiz snapped back into attention and nearly dropped her cup. Kazuma, dropping out of his trance, began to talk in one of his 'slapstick script' tones. "The store is open right now, right!?" "Ah, yes. That's right." "What about the customers!? Huh? Where are the customers!? I haven't seen a single customer since I started work yesterday!" Wiz thought about that over a sip of tea. "Well, that's because... no one never came here." Kazuma did a mental facepalm and started to get that feeling in his gut he was now too familiar with.

"Uh... right. Wiz, I know I'm going to regret what I'm going to say this. But, this is this isn't like this every day, right?" "Of course not." "Oh think god-" "If Vanir-san knew I was having tea time, he would fry me with his near-death ray." "Ah, no. roasting would be more accurate than frying- but that's not the point here!" Ah, yes. The punch line. "It's not? I thought frying without oil was the same as roasting. I'll go get the dictionary-" There are the counter punch line and finally- "No! That's not the point! I asked that question in terms of 'You are usually busy during this hour, right~!?'" Wiz shrugged her shoulders in denial. "Oh no, this is the everyday normality, Kazuma-san. Minus the tea, of course." 'She didn't even bother to hesitate a bit when I asked her!' "Wiz, I have a question. And I want you to answer with complete honesty."

* * *

**A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.**

**Cliffhanger! And now some apologies. I uploaded some personal scribbles that I wrote for fun as an eighth chapter. Eh, well it was fun but it was not for public eyes. I am sorry for any inconvenience that might've caused.**

**A correction needs to be made: there will be no KONOSUBA SE3 but there was a movie that released in Japan in August. I hope I get on a subtitled version soon.**

**Next, for some of those who read the comments and get confused, I am going to upload the revised version of the scribbles I wrote. They have nothing to do with the story so, just think of it as a November version of an April fool's day.**

* * *

**...The final war between the demon race and the human race marked the beginning of the era where humans became solely responsible for the history of humankind and the world. In these uncertain times, the gods blessed us with the three heroes whose name will forever shine as long as humanity lasts. The last hero, Lalatina **"Darkness"** Ford Dustiness, the great mage Megumin Pendragon of the Crimson Demons and the Mother superior, Saint **"Benevolence" **Aqua Rainfall** "the calm"**.**

**...It was only then when the Belzerg dynasty Stylish Sword shed of its dependence on wars for its legitimacy and steadied itself as an absolute ruling house of an independent kingdom that the Kingdom of Belzerg took its first step toward a modern nation and a colonial empire. And**** was only when Iris the Great took the mantle of King that the ages of heroes came to an end. And every historian agrees that it was only then that the continent of Vicious escaped the stalemated era of the high middle ages that lasted for thousands of years and entered a pre-modern era of reformation and revolutions.**

**...she said, as books say: Mother Superior Aqua scolded the watchman. **"Pardon him and let this poor misguided lamb follow and learn from me, the great benevolence of lady Eris." **Shaken but not relented the man tried the rebate her benevolent words, but that moment, Archwizard Megumin proclaimed, **"Tis unfair to lay the entire blame on this poor man. Can't ye all see society and prejudice toward the lad drove him to this state we see today?" **And when the watch tried to argue with them the second time, the last hero, Dame Ford Dustiness stepped forward. **"As a knight serving lady Eris, I cannot let that bold statement pass. I shall see to it that this man reforms. I swear it on my sword and honor!" **Being told off thrice, the watch relented and gave the reins to the three women. ****That was the moment when the local pervert and thief, Satou Kazuma was saved from persecution. And made his small steps in history as an acolyte of Aqua Rainfall, a disciple of Megumin Pendragon and squire to Lalatina**"Darkness" **Ford Dustiness.**

**...Historians say that Satou Kazuma was only a burden to the three heroes of humanity. That the only big meaning he had was bringing the three heroes together. He was a perverted and sadistic young man who constantly ignored the pleas and scoldings of his masters. It is still retold how he tried to sell his mistress Aqua's holy relic to pay off his extensive debts. Constantly tricked the Arch Wizard Megumin to earn a bad reputation as** **an** "Explosion addict" **out of spite for her magical abilities** **And tried to rape and sell Dame Ford Dustiness into prostitution for his perverted amusement. It comes to no surprise that the word **"Kazuma"** has the same meaning of the word **"Krampus" **or **"trash"**. **

**...But still, after all these accusations, some people still believe that Satou Kazuma gave worthy advice to his masters. And while many of my colleagues at the Royal Institution scoff at these folklores, I disagree. **"Even the wisest sages can learn from the most naive child." **Those are the words of the wise arch wizard Megumin Pendragon. And one cannot deny the credit that Satou Kazuma was an excellent bait during the **"Divine judgment of Hans"**, the quest that made Aqua famous in the eyes in the Eris Church for her benevolence of helping out the Eris hating Axis cultists.**

**_-Exerted from the [Noteworthy and mysterious facts and stories for the Citizens of Belzerg, told by the honest and wise historian of the University of New Arcanletia, Bartholomew Mitsurugi, which was published with the help of the honorable and prestigious mayor Alexsai Van Finnian of Axel] by Bartholomew Mitsurugi._**

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**And finally, a foreshadowing content for you to enjoy. Until next time, Chao.**

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Chapter 08.5.

"Hmm? IS something wrong, Master Vanir?" "Oh, Moi is just fine, moi Don Riccorta." "Well then, let's get back to our contract. These lighters-"

But Vanir wasn't listening to him. He was looking at a certain boy and shopkeep's future. Sometimes it was fun to not look into the future. He could enjoy the process and it progresses.

'Thy better step carefully, moi partner. Thou better not fail this test. If thou art to fail, thy shall lose more than what thou anticipate.'

**'A Lich could raze entire villages and raise thousands of legions. Think of all the good a person could do with that kind of power. ...And also the bad.'**

**A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 09.

"Yes, what is it?" "What do you think of the current state of the shop?" "I was thinking, 'I might be in trouble right now...?'" "Are you a preschooler!?" "I, I'm sorry." "Ah, no. I'm sorry. I got carried away and used my usual 'slapstick' voice." "Ara, ara. So that's how you usually talk around Aqua-sama and others." "Well, this is not by my 100% free will. You could say I need to talk like this since they have too many things to slap at... hey, why did the topics change!? Enough about me. Tell me what you think of your shop, Wiz." "Well, I know it's better if this shop prospers?" "Have you ever thought or planned anything to make this shop prosper?"

"I had several ideas but I thought, maybe it's too bitchy if I only pursued coin? So..." Oh, Wiz... There is a difference between being nice and being idiotic. "No, no. Of course, prosperous and pursuing coins may be the same, but being bitchy is a completely different matter. You could at least make a profit along the lines of making sure this shop falls into deficit?" "Yes, I understand. I will try my best." "That's a relief." "Of course, the only thing I can think of is lowering the prices. And even if I did that, it still doesn't sell." "Don't smile while saying things like that!" "Ah, of course. That sounds right." "Okay, then what do you say we think of a way to prosper this shop, together?" "Together?" Oops. I'm going to be called a pervert again, aren't I?

"Ah, I didn't think of anything weird, if that's what you're thinking." "I didn't think that. On the contrary, I'm glad I got such a great offer." Ah, Wiz. You just jinxed me.

No, I got to believe in this. It might be too basic to be called an idea, but it could still worth something! Remember what you've thought of last night! Kazuma took in a deep breath. "Alright, I have an idea. Wiz, I'll be frank with you. This store is full of unpractical knickknacks." It looked like Wiz wasn't going to take this now relevant and obvious fact well. Again. "K, knickknacks..." Kazuma quickly went on. Not tho give Wiz time to get depressed again. "But there are some things **are **practical and could be sold. But since nobody knows or cares about this shop, people don't know about it. **You can't do anything when you don't know about it. **So we'll go out and promote and sell our products. Like a door-to-door salesman!" "Muri desu! I'm not comfortable doing that... I like promoting my things to other people but I'm not sure if forcing them to buy it is a good idea..." "Yeah. It would probably end with you getting dragged into an endless conversation with a gossiper." "Well, I can't deny that."

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He drank down the last drops of tea and put the teacup back on its saucer. He didn't show it, but he wanted to yell at Wiz as he did with those three idiots. He knew Wiz was soft, but this was **too **soft.

Wiz was **too **kind. It may be a different world, but Kazuma knew the same principles of society could still be equivalent here as well: Kindness will only put dust in your pockets. Unmoral men's pockets spill coins as they walk. 'So it's best to step between those two lines.' Maybe he was being too drastic here. In Wiz's case, her head was only full of flowers.

There are people like her. Those who always goes along with the flow. Those who always tell themselves: be kind. Don't be a burden to others. Those who accept any shit that was thrown at them. ...Or was she that terrible at shopkeeping? Too stupid to even not know the basics of everything? She was called the Ice witch for a reason, right? Then why is she acting like total shit? Being nice is totally different from being a complete stuttering idiot who would sell her body to appease others. ...That was too mean. Calm down, Kazuma. Wiz is not darkness. Even if she has a fuller body than her, she's still Wiz.

But still. 'Society isn't a structure that is kind to kind people.' If she keeps denying everything to not be a burden to everyone, not thinking for herself and not true to their inner greed, that can't be called kindness from that point. It should be called stupidity.

Stupid enough to forget she was a burden to Vanir instead of helping him. Stupid enough to let people look down on her. Stupid enough to let people to think of her as their personal pot at the end of the rainbow. Didn't she think she deserved better? Was he the only one to think of that?

HE really wanted to scream. HE wanted to verbally punch some sense into her. But that would only ruin his chance of doing anything with her. It might distract her from doing the exorcism rituals tonight. It might ruin his chance to change Wiz into... a somewhat decent Shopkeep who could help herself.

'I should step down a level. How can we step down a level from this?'

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**(Wiz holding a teacup): KO! NO! SU! BA!**

* * *

They say you need to teach a man how to fish, not give him fish. Or else that man will never learn how to stand up for himself. Though Kazuma had no idea if this quote is completely accurate in this situation, it sounds similar enough. Kazuma decided that would be more likely to work on Wiz.

"Hey Wiz, let's go outside." "Ha? But the shop..." "It's alright. Alright. Nobody comes here anyway." "I don't mind if I say it, but hearing that from someone else..." "Hora, it's alright! Don't forget to lock the door!" "Ah, hai! Of course!"

Kazuma started at Wiz's back as she took the tray back to her kitchen. 'I hope this works.'

**A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.**

**Kazuma is truly furious with Wiz. But realizing the facts is any first step in creating a real relationship.**

**Please leave a comment and have a nice day.**


	10. SHOPKEEPING WIZ OVERHAUL

**SHOPKEEPING WIZ OVERHAUL**

I'm famous to my friends as 'the guy who can never finish a complete plotline in one go.' Well, the joke… is still on them. But I finished the complete plotline for Shopkeeping Wiz! As London Tipton says; Yay Me! The main focus; Kazuma helping Wiz to become a better shopkeep, will be changed a bit. I won't tell yet, but I gave Wiz's Lich side the same balance as Wiz's shopkeep side. And there won't be any major changes to the already posted stories. Only bits of tweaking here and there. But I recommend you all go back and read the last nine chapters again to avoid saying 'When did this happen?'

On the downer note, I won't be posting anything for a while. I'm working on the climax part first. So… sorry. I'll make it up to all of you by trying to post a more enjoyable story than what's been posted now. Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanuka, and Great Kwanzaa.


	11. EMERGENCY NOTICE 01 (HOPEFULLY!)

**THIS IS A EMERGENCY NOTICE BROUGHT TO YOU BY ME, J.H ESPELLAEVE0124E.**

I lost it. I lost the climax and basically the entire part three of Shopkeeping Wiz, somewhere in this stupid computer's mainframe.

I carefully label all my each and individual stories. But it seems that I have not done the same with Shopkeeping Wiz part three.

It must be there somewhere. I will find it, and if I can't find it, I will rewrite it (BGS: Buzz Lightyear style 'No~!' from TS2)

But this threw everything off my schedule; thus the one year anniversary fic will be likely to be canceled or postponed, and there will liekly no more SW stories for the rest of the year. Sorry.

Happy holidays and happy new year.


	12. Leave of Absence

**08.24.2020** I've always been a fan of rare pairs: Like Juvia and Natsu(Is this a rare pair...?), Link and Selmie(what? she's cute. And with possible juicy backstory.), Dragon and Cindri(I'm convinced she's Luffy's mom! Fight me if you think I'm wrong!) And Hex Mania and MC(I've started working on this pair. The story's called **Route 14**. I'll post it when I get the details done.)

But enough small talk, I have news.

Sorry for the absence. I've been busy with Cartoon Marathons, BotW, and Animal Crossing. So much to do! So much to do! And I've completely lost my muse on the two KONOSUBA stories. But I'm not giving up! It's just gonna take a while. This is on my bucket list, damn it! And I'm not giving up! But it's gonna be a while until I update a new chapter. Why?

I'm joining the Army.

As a South Korean Citizen, a male citizen has to fulfill the duty of military service. (Boo!)

And I'll be gone for about 18 months. I'll try to post stuff on my vacation leaves, I promise.

But the stories will get scarcer, that's for sure. Sorry.

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And now, I've done everything on my to-do list of things to do before going off to the army: with 8 hours to spare.

Goodbye, everyone. See you soon. I promise.

This was EspellaEve, signing off.


End file.
